Set Free to BE Free

Good day to you all! You love life, or you wouldn't be on this journey with me. Rest assured there will be hills and valleys, but we'll never give up. (I sound like a Dr. Seuss book.)

I want to borrow from Beth Moore today. In one of her dvd studies she mentions "stronghold management." What she means by that phrase is that, instead of letting God set us truly free, as He clearly seeks to, we learn to live with our chains. To fashion our lives around them. To manage them down to an "acceptable" level.

Brothers and sisters, there is no "acceptable" level of stronghold strangulation. By their very nature, they will boom, blossom and overtake the manager. They will yank the reins. They will rule the house.

With most addictions, the cure is complete abstinence, and avoidance of places where the addictive agent flows freely. Can't happen with food. A) We gotta have it to live. B) It's flippin' everywhere.

At least three times a day we are confronted with our nemesis. Heaven forbid that we are tired, stressed, sad, lonely, defeated or mad as all get out. That's when Dunkin' Donuts is likely to get a large swipe from our credit cards. But it really doesn't have to be that way. Tomorrow I'll talk about legitimate needs that we seek to meet in food.

We do NOT have to be slaves to the stronghold of overeating/bingeing. We can be totally free, even though we will eat every day. We can learn to make healthy choices, to prepare meals that are healthy and taste good (enjoying the way something tastes is NOT sin, it's a pleasure God freely gave us) and to eat them in moderation and with thanks. We do not have to set up strict rules and parameters which amplify the importance of the addictive agent. We can simply be free from its hold through prayer, prayer, and, I might add, prayer. God will set us free if we are determined to let HIM! We will learn to have all of our deepest soul needs met in Christ, and, next blog post, we'll talk about practical and healthy ways to meet other needs that we incorrectly use food for.

Let me close with this important scripture: "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." (Gal. 5:1, NIV)

Part of being free is understanding that it is okay to feed legitimate hunger with satisfying, nutritious food. Eating beyond the point of being full is what makes us overweight. Food is not our enemy, the misuse of it is! We will get beyond this. We will not obsess on it! We will love ourselves enough to feed ourselves good stuff when our body needs it. I have done away with my food journal on here because I don't think legalism does anything but strengthen our chains. I am counting calories and fat grams until I get into those pants good. That's just to expedite the process, not to vilify self if I fall off the wagon.

Happy eating!

Where is your treasure?

At first, because I did not sleep more than, say, three or four hours last night, I thought today's devotional would be very difficult to write. Thought I'd be forcing the three brain cells that have some charge to them through some serious hoops to get a coherent thought down. Interestingly enough, that's just not the case. I've got something to share.

Last night, someone did something that upset me very, very, very much. I felt wounded to the core, taken advantage of, tossed aside and also very heartbroken that they would hurt themselves by the action that they took because I care so much about what happens to them and I have invested so much of myself in helping them through hard times.

I desperately wish that I could record here that I responded in a godly fashion. Oh how I wish I could tell you that I prayed fervent, heart-felt prayers on their behalf, that I lifted their name to heaven and fell to my knees in a worshipful prayer stance. That I read the Bible until I felt peace, then got in bed and tucked the covers in in blissful peace. I did none of the above.

No. I paced the floor, called someone to vent and cried and used the kind of language that I would be desperate for my pastor NOT to hear me use. I mean I would literally die if any of YOU heard me use it, much less the ladies in my biblestudy or the leadership in my church. Talk about inauthentic.

I guess my reaction (I was just stunned by the other person's actions, shaken to the core) revealed to me my heart. Where my treasure is. My treasure is still firmly rooted in what others think of me, what I can accomplish for myself, my status on earth, my fit in society, The Bible makes it plain, utterly plain, that none of that is where we should be focused.

"When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." (Psalm 73:21-26, NIV)

When I face uncertainty and loss, my spiritual temperature is taken on the spot. If it really is true that earth has nothing I desire, that God is my all, I can't be shaken. Not to the extent that I lose my sense of appropriateness and become filled with the kind of rage that shocks even me!

How does this relate to our quest to take better care of our bodies? Pretty well, actually. It is nearly impossible for a woman who is approaching fifty years of age to stay motivated to be glamorously thin so that the latest fashions cling to her aging frame. It ain't happenin' in the face of a really good cheesecake. But if I believe that God wants me to be a good steward of all that He has given me to use to the praise of His glory and to fulfill my job on earth, I will approach my health differently. I need energy and health to be obedient to Him. If I invest my treasure in the things that last (the heavenly kingdom), then I will invest my earthly body in God's call on my life. I can't be effective if I am exhausted and broken down.

I hope this little chat has put some wind in your sails today. When you invest in your health, you invest in God's call on your life. We all know He wants us to be good stewards of everything He has blessed us with. Let's get started today!

Chains

This will be an emotional post for me. I have fought a food addiction for most of my life, and nearly all of my adult life. Those of us who have struggled with our weight (I have lost the same 30-40 lbs numerous times) for many years are in chains. This group will, God willing, help us to toss those chains into the sea of God's love and forgiveness.

I have a mighty good metabolism, but have still been overweight. I never made it to outright morbid obesity, though I  have plenty of ridiculous binges. The fact that my super-good metabolism was over-ridden by my calorie intake to get me to the overweight point again and again lets me know that I have had far, far more than the number of daily calories I should have had on many, many, many occasions. I did not need for my weight to signal that to me. I have cried so many bitter tears in the wake of a Haagen Das overkill episode. "Fat girls DO cry," I would sing, literally out loud, to the tune of "Big Girls Don't Cry."

Tears have slid down my cheeks as I parked myself in a sea of Fruit Roll-Up wrappers, the empty box beside me, my computer on my lap. I have started a new diet daily for many, many years on end. I wish I had a dollar for every time that I have said "Tomorrow is a new day," just before digging into a cheese pizza.

Recently I lost a tremendous amount of weight due to extreme anxiety. This was a first for me. I was elated by this unexpected side effect to such a grievous set of circumstances and set my resolve to hang onto the weight loss, this time for good. I threw away all clothes over a certain size. While I certainly rejoice that I am emotionally healthy enough to gain weight again, I am very upset that my remaining clothes are TIGHT a mere six months down the road.

I have become so obsessed and so desperate that I even considered taking laxatives a couple of times recently. That was a first for me. Thankfully, I knew that to do so would mean succumbing to an eating disorder which may prove more burdensome that being overweight ever has. I did not take them. Instead, I ran to the pizzas, the brownies, the cookies and the chips. I drowned my sorrow over gaining weight in foods that will make me gain weight. I am firmly resolved not to buy any bigger clothes so, unless I want to run around in my husband's bathrobe, it's time for a sea change.

I have always thought that I might be able to help myself by helping others. So I'm going to chronicle my journey out of obsessive thinking about eating and not eating right here in this group. One thing I have always felt VERY strongly about is this: We who are struggling with our eating cannot begin to heal until we love ourselves fully at the size we find ourselves this VERY minute. We have to accept God's unconditional love for us, RIGHT NOW. Not when we get into that coveted size we think about all of the time. RIGHT NOW. He loves us fully and completely right now. We are beautiful in his eyes.

Second thing to consider: We will not only love ourselves at our current sizes, but we will be all done (dusts hands) with guilt. When we eat too much, we will repent, get up, dust ourselves off and go buy some new shoes. We will not look back for a minute. ALL (and that is EVERY single one of us who struggle with food addiction) of us carry heavy loads of shame about our eating. Time to drop that. Permanently. We will never get it all right all of the time. But we can, and will improve.

Next very salient point: Getting thinner is about becoming healthier so that we can do the job God made us for on this earth, and so that we can enjoy the glorious journey of life. Recently it occurred to me that I am drawing all of my energy from sugar and caffeine, rather than rest, exercise and good nutrition! I have a lot of living left to do. I want more energy to pack it all in! Are you with me??/